“I suppose the most you can hope for is to make some kind of difference, but what kind of difference have I made? What in the world is better because of me?”

and

“Relatively soon, I will die. Maybe in 20 years, maybe tomorrow, it doesn’t matter. Once I am dead and everyone who knew me dies too, it will be as though I never existed. What difference has my life made to anyone. None that I can think of. None at all.”

It’s never to early to think about a legacy, to think about how one’s own life can make an impact far exceeding the years one can live.  An a vital link must be made between personal development and legacy, because that is one of the things that brings true joy.  Knowing that you’re becoming a good person, or becoming a better person and knowing that your development is a blessing to others is a feeling that can’t be bought.  While none of us may be able to reach the heights of Mother Teresa, we can change the lives of others by sacrificing of ourselves simply to allow others the opportunities they wouldn’t otherwise have.

Here are some tips and thoughts on how giving can improve your own life, and how to figure out ways to give:

• Scientific research has shown that bringing joy to others actually benefits one’s own mind and heart.  In fact, they found that the biblical proverb “it is better to give than to receive” was extremely true.  When people gave, it satisfied certain parts of their brains more than when they won money.
• Make sure you know where your money goes.  A recent article revealed that barely 10% of the $248 billion donated last year by Americans went towards helping the poor.  That’s not very much obviously, and one way to become discouraged in your giving is to become hardened by corruption and inefficiency.  So, before you start giving, research the organization you are giving to, make sure a significant percentage of the money given goes towards the cause, and make sure you keep tabs on the people within the organization as much as you’re able to.
• Research at Johns Hopkins University showed that devoting time to causes improves a person’s health, in part because it gives them more of a purpose, more of a reason to live.
• Find a cause you have a personal connection to.  Has a loved one died of cancer, then donating to a cancer fund or cancer treatment might be a good idea.  Were you abused as a child or as an adult?  Then giving to a battered women’s shelter or donating time to Big Brothers/Big Sisters could be the way to go.  If all your charitable billing becomes is a bill, then you’ll miss the blessing.

1. Hulk Fought Giants - In Wrestlemania III, Hulk Hogan body slammed Andre the Giant.  How many of us have giants we’re facing in our own lives?  Addictions, bad relationships, horrible personal finances and dead-end careers are the giants which keep us trembling in fear far too often.  Like the Hulkster, standing toe-to-toe with such giants is hard, but the only way to free ourselves from the headaches of mediocrity.
   
2. Saying Your Prayers and Eating Your Vitamins - Hogan’s persona was pure good guy (with the exception of his strange reversion to Hollywood Hogan for a few years).  Far too often we see ourselves in complex fashion, trying to compromise our ethics to move forward.  But we’ve all felt the emptiness inside of ourselves that can only be cured with purity and good.  It’s a complex world we live in today, with wars we may not agree with and corporations we despise.  Being a good guy is the only path to truth.
   
3. Transparency and Vulnerability - Cat Stevens sang a song that basically said he wouldn’t have known love if it weren’t for pain and hurt.  Pretty much every guy Hulk Hogan befriended turned on him (Andre the Giant, Randy Savage, Scott Hall) yet he was always willing to make friends.  Pursuing relationships is the richness of life, and while they will turn on us occasionally, that’s no reason to reject them.
   
4. Consistency - From 1983 through today, Hogan is Hogan.  He puts himself out there, and after decades of wrestling and public appearances (and some terrible movies) he was fans, friends and fortune.  He has his ups and downs, but he’s consistent.

George Bernard Shaw, the great Irish playwright, once said “A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent in doing nothing.”

It’s easy to give up on an endeavor, a person or a situation as failure, or failures, mount. But, if we allow failures to stop us then we should completely throw away any notion of success, development and hope.

Failures are our learning opportunities, even if it’s a major failure. Failed marriages can teach us things about ourselves and our desires that we didn’t know before. Failed attempts at losing weight can allow us to figure out how our bodies work. And in truth, history is filled with people who achieved great things in part because they failed so much.

• J. Paul Getty was an extremely wealthy and successful man, yet was married and divorced more than five times. His business success and acumen wasn’t something he could bring into his personal life.
• Abraham Lincoln lost multiple elections and was often berated for his stances against slavery.
• Jim Plunkett, who led two Raiders teams to victories in the Super Bowl was considered a failure during his days as a quarterback with the New England Patriots and San Francisco 49ers.

Dealing with failure is hard, it’s not easy to look into the mirror after a terrible loss and try and believe that success is possible. It’s easy to use all sorts of cheesy sounding sayings and terms and then let failure sit in your belly. What’s difficult is taking time to examine your failure, learn from it and fight to get over your fear of it.

We’ve all been dumped, fired, yelled at, fallen down during a big event, allowed a bad habit to get the better of us and simply failed at something that seemed easy. However, if we’re going to succeed in life, achieve our goals and do anything of merit, than we have to allow these things to make us stronger.

1. Don’t give up on your dreams. Granted, when a 19-year-old sings about heartache I find it painful, but these are kids who refuse to compromise. While reality television may have dumbed down and already dumbed down medium, it has brought us waves of young people unwilling to quit their passions in order to pay the mortgage. We should spend some time being enchanted by passionate people pursuing their dreams and allow that to sink in deep with us.

2. Not all judgment is bad. I’d probably either break down in tears or throw my shoe at Simon if he critiqued any part of my life, but it’s not as if he’s ever that off base. We need people in our lives who are willing to hammer us with criticism and help us become stronger, better people. Our talents often need stress and hardship in order to bring out the best.

3. Know when people are laughing at you. Sometimes we can get so caught up in our pursuits that we can become the butt of people’s jokes without knowing it. The first three or four episodes of American Idol every season are painful to watch, but dozens of contestants swear they have talent and the rest of the world is crazy for not realizing it. Honestly, not every writer is a good writer, not every musician should make an album and not every accountant can balance a check book. Know when to get out of a situation with grace, rather than forcing your ideas or perceived talent down someone else’s throat.

4. Competition brings out the best in us. We live in a society where competition is frowned upon, and where little league moms worry every time their child strikes out, that maybe his mistakes in little league will haunt him for life. Failure is good, it brings out new sides of us. Some of the most successful Idol contestants didn’t win the whole thing. Chris Daultry has a chart topping band and he fell out fairly early, Clay Aiken is on Broadway and Jennifer Hudson won an Oscar. All of these “lost” on American Idol but used the opportunities given to them in order to achieve far more than even the winners.

5. Be upfront and honest. Every season there’s a sex scandal, an arrest scandal and a “professional” scandal. Someone has nude pictures of them on the net, or they were arrested for something dumb, or they completely forgot they already had an album out. Whether it’s during an interview, during a date or whatever, honesty isn’t the best policy, it’s the only policy.

I drive a hybrid. Tipper and I got a Lexus hybrid. And we have a couple of Priuses in the family with our children. And I encourage people to make environmentally conscious choices because we all have to solve this climate crisis.”

What kind of car do you drive? Is it helping planet earth? Is it helping your wallet? Almost every manufacturer is changing over to hybrid vehicles, or at least offering hybrid versions of current classics, there’s even a new hybrid Yukon! Take a serious look at whether or not a hybrid vehicle will help save you money, save the world and maybe even save some face with Al Gore.

“If we did not take action to solve this crisis, it could indeed threaten the future of human civilization.”

Al’s not talking about global warming, he’s talking about the cleanliness of your home. When was the last time your carpet was cleaned? How dusty are the backs of the cabinets in your kitchen? Have you cleaned your garage in the last two years? If not, the junk and filth is piling up in your environment and all you’re doing about it is…nothing.

“If you want to go fast, go alone, if you want to go far, go together”

What’s your family and friend environment like? Are you properly stewarding the relationships around you, or do you just hurt people as you go? Part of the environment’s problem is that for decades no one paid any attention to the damage being done, and no one spoke up about the pollution being created. The same may go for your friendships. Evaluate each relationship you have, take time to realize where some work may need to be done in order to repair hurts and wounds.

“The will to act is a renewable resource.”

Action is needed in your life. Your career, savings, personal growth and future success depend upon it. But, like all things, inertia will damage your environment more than anything else. Laziness and inactivity breed more laziness and inactivity. If you’re going to move forward in life, you’ll need to operate with a bit more electricity than ever before. Get inspired, read books that inspire you, listen to inspiring music and fight the war against inactivity to help nurture your environment.

“We are the enemy, just as we have only ourselves as allies. In a war such as this, then, what is victory and how will we recognize it?”

Want to know what’s keeping you from your dreams? Go look in the mirror. Your unhealthy work and home environments have one main polluter, YOU! However, they have a hero as well, that very same person in the mirror. Take stock of your environment, realize that change is a decision away and start choosing success rather than accepting failure.

There are two artists though, one popular today, one popular many years ago, who can both inspire and calm you at the same time: Jack Johnson and Cat Stevens.

Both artists are guitar players by trade, and singer song writer is a moniker they both wear well. But, more than just lyricists or “cool frat boys who play the guitar” these two artists are poets who have inspired musical talent.

Jack Johnson has a funky explosion now and then, and Cat Stevens can’t help but sound like the 70’s, but their collective musical history helps bring about a state of mind that isn’t just numbing out the pain. Cat Stevens for example believed in peace and love, and his music translates his passions well. Jack Johnson believes in togetherness and family, so much so that the recent “Curious George” film used his music as the score.

Pursuing a more pure and holistic life includes finding influences that will leave you a better person after the experience. A night of Cat Stevens and Jack Johnson playing while you cuddle with your significant other or while you make dinner will give you the best hangover you’ve ever had.

However, there are simple things Gandhi said that can lead us to not only live fuller lives, but serve others by being better individuals.

Always aim at complete harmony of thought and word and deed. Always aim at purifying your thoughts and everything will be well.
Mahatma Gandhi

It’s easy to be inconsistent, Gandhi was well aware of this. However, living an honest life is living a life worthy of emulation, worthy of adoration, and worthy of being honored and applauded by yourself and others. To be who you are, through and through, is to be courageous.

Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.
Mahatma Gandhi

How easy it is to clobber ourselves for not being perfect everyday, or to not try at all for fear of looking foolish when we fall flat on our faces. However, flying can only be achieved in the air, not with your feet on the ground.

It is unwise to be too sure of one’s own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err.
Mahatma Gandhi

Friends aren’t just people to watch football games with says Gandhi, having peers who hold you accountable and who can question your views is vital. And having more than one is a major asset in life.

Movies are a big part of how people form their world view. For example, the kids who attacked the high school in Columbine were big fans of Basketball Diaries and Natural Born Killers, two extremely violent films. These young men consciously acted out scenes from these films, scenes which had been imprinted on their minds. A wise man once said life would be easier if movie music played every time there was an important dramatic moment. Truly, films play a major part in our lives.

The question then is, how do we use films to cultivate our world view into something positive? One way is to watch films that have an endearing message, films that aren’t just gore and sex for the sake of gore and sex, but which uplift our souls and hearts.

Here are a few choices that, when watched, remind us of hope, love, joy and the strength of the human spirit:

Good Will Hunting

A heart warming film that observes the horror one can endure, and the power of overcoming.

Forrest Gump

Voted one of the best movies of all time, this film not only lifts spirits, but it’s a wonderfully made piece of art.

Field of Dreams

A splendid story about the reconciliation between a father and his son. Not just one of the best baseball movies of all time, but a fantastic film with a great cast. Even worn out old men tear up when Kevin Costner meets his father in the film.

Home Alone

A silly child’s film? Yes. A hopeful story of families coming together? Yes. Part of the process of allowing heartwarming films to influence us is to let down our guard and cynicism.

It’s A Wonderful Life

A holiday classic, a cinema classic, a Jimmy Stewart classic, yes this film has it all.

Back to the Future

“Doc!” This trio of films are not only classics and entertaining, but they remind the viewers that growing up can happen outside of time, and the nerdy guy with glasses can get the girl.

Searching for Bobby Fischer

Another movie about fathers and sons, featuring a great cast with some wonderful performances.

Princess Bride

Voted one of the best pirate movies ever. This film is great for couples, children, men, women, young and old. Not just a great story, but a story of redemption and love. Plus, it has Andre the Giant!

Big

Tom Hanks shows up a lot on this list, his films are warm and show the redemptive side of humanity, rather than the alternative.

A League of Their Own

Tom Hanks (again), Rosie O’Donnell, Madonna, Geena Davis, John Lovitz all in a great film about women becoming friends, overcoming obstacles and maturing as people. If you have a little girl who wants to be a pro-athlete someday, this is a must see.

Return to Me

Possibly the most underrated romantic comedy of all time, this film tells the story of a man dealing with the loss of his wife and finding a new love.

Scent of a Woman

Al Pacino gives an Oscar winning performance in a film that tells the story of a man with a heart of stone feeling the joys of friendship and love once again.

Life seems to have a funny knack for filling each day with different varieties of irritating situations. If you are a commuter, then quite possibly the only thing you know for sure when you wake up every morning is that something or someone is going to get on your nerves within the next twelve to sixteen hours.

Sometimes it’s the guy sitting next to you on the bus or the train who takes up almost two seats and is discussing rather personal issues loudly on his cell phone. Sometimes it’s the construction workers who callously close the same lane every morning and never show any particular consideration for your timetable. It can even be as soon as you get out of bed and immediately begin to shiver because your landlord just got the heating bill and is trying to cut back on his expenses.

These small irritations have a tendency to pile up and cause headaches, migraines, stress, anger, or depression.

So why am I reminding you of daily frustrations that you try so hard to avoid? Because there is a way to deal with them that relieves the symptoms of daily frustration. Eliminate frustration through acceptance.

Understand this concept, be ready and willing to apply it,and you are ready to embark on a peaceful life journey. Please allow me to explain.

Acceptance

Yes, acceptance. Applying acceptance means recognizing that everyone and everything around you is exactly how it is supposed to be at that exact moment.

Our frustration at the world around us usually stems out of our discontent with it. We often become dissatisfied with our surroundings because we can think of a million different ways that they could be better. We become obsessed with the phrase “if only”. If only the train would come on time, if only the homeless man wouldn’t sing, if only my wife wouldn’t snore, if only my boss would show more compassion, etc.,

Acceptance eliminates our dissatisfaction. For example, rather than ruminating on the thought of how disturbed you are by the loud obnoxious person next to you on the train, you could stop, and tell yourself that the person is exactly the way that they are supposed to be. That they are acting in the only way that they know how to act, because their life up to that point was a series of events, unknown to you, that shaped their personality in such a way that to you they appear to be loud and obnoxious. You can then breathe a sigh of relief because there is no longer any rational use to pondering about that person’s defects. No matter how much mental energy you employ at being irritated by them, they will remain themselves; simply because that is the way they are supposed to be at that exact moment.

How?

Here are the three simple steps to practicing acceptance in your daily living:

1. Acknowledge the situation or person that is making you irritated.
2. Accept that the person is doing exactly what he/she is supposed to be doing at that exact moment, and that no matter how much you may want the person to be different they are going to continue to be the way that they are.
3. Remove the negative thoughts from your mind, and rest assured that there is a reason beyond your knowledge for whatever is happening and that there is no need for you to further contemplate the situation.

Why?

Whether you are an agnostic, an atheist, or a steady and active church member you would most likely agree that the world we live in is governed by laws. No matter how hard I may try, I cannot transcend the thick walls of a bank vault and fill up my wallet, nor can I surpass the laws of gravity and fly to work when the trains are running late. These are of course laws that deal solely with the material world and have nothing to do with the people around us, but there is a social lesson to be learned from them.

The lesson is that people, very much like a thick bank vault or the laws of gravity, have limitations and parameters. What do I mean by that?

I mean that the people who you may find irritating are acting the way that they are because to them that is the only way they can act at the time. Seeing as how we are not omniscient, we don’t know everything that happens to everyone around us, so we cannot be aware of the situations in other people’s lives that cause them to act the way that they do. All we need to know is that we do not need to take it personally because the person would still act that way whether we were around them or not. We need to accept that that is just the way they are, and are acting the only way they know how to act.

Experiment with this new way of perceiving our surroundings and it may bring you the peace and serenity you seek.