Asides

Five Tips for Those Considering a Divorce

By Stephen Roman ⋅ January 12, 2008 ⋅  Email this post ⋅  Print this post ⋅ Subscribe By Email ⋅ Post a comment

Right after the New Year is the most popular time to file for divorce. In fact, divorce lawyers consider the period from the New Year to Valentines Day to be “tax season.” If you are one of the many considering taking that serious step here are some things to keep in mind.

1. Recognize that this is a life changing step – The seriousness of a divorce cannot be overstated. The divorce process is long, harrowing, and expensive. The person that you once decided to spend your life with may become hostile and adversarial. The people in your life may take the side of your spouse. It will be a stressful and unpleasant journey. Frequently, it’s vital to keep the interest of children in mind as well. In short, if you decide to take this step realize that it is one of the biggest decisions you will have to make.

2. Talk to an attorney before making any big moves – You need a professional to guide you through the process and give a realistic idea of the time frames and costs involved in the process. An experienced divorce lawyer will be able to tell you the best way to prepare your living situation to your advantage.

3. Be on your best behavior – Very frequently in a contentious divorce parties will trade exaggerated claims to establish a favorable position. This is, unfortunately, normal. Recognize from the beginning that your actions will be under a microscope and normally private activities, like drinking and drug use, may be used against you. This is especially true in cases where child custody is an issue. Even a rich celebrity like Britney Spears could not overcome the allegations of excessive partying to keep her children. Also, cease all extra-marital affairs until the proceeding are complete.

4. Get your financial documents in order – Yours and your spouses. Do you know how much money your spouse has? Do you know who owes what? Assemble all the information possible about household debts and assets; then store them away from the house in a secure location. Keep in mind that marital debt will usually fall on the person most able to pay, but any debts incurred after the divorce will not. If there is any alimony involved it will be based not on what your spouse has but what you can PROVE they have.

5. Plan for life after divorce – Imagine how you will live your life without your spouse in it and takes steps to manifest that dream in reality. This could mean very different things depending on if you were the breadwinner or not. If not, you may want to get a resume in order and start planning for a career. Additionally there are many post-divorce financial considerations that must be addresses. Do not put off retirement planning and acquiring medical insurance due to the stress of a divorce. Other financial considerations include a new bank account, establishing your own credit record, and preparing a budget.